A Pile Of Things I Know, Can Do, Or Have Done:
- I'll destroy anyone at Boggle (or tic-tac-toe).
- I know how to throw down on cooking so many extravagant, quick, or quality family meals, but will fail at boxed brownies every single time.
- I can sharpen a chainsaw (I'd have to explain this one in-person)
- I can install a customized starlight ceiling in your vehicle or home, and show you how to control this crazy noise from an app and impress all your people.
- Beat you in a race on my sportbike, OR - lend you my bike cuz you want one for the weekend.
- Teach you how to ride or learn shifting manual transmissions.
- How to fish; and super spots (MN), how to fillet, and cook em, too.
- How to jump start a car or replace a flat tire.
- How to get stains out of anything (because I made all of them).
- Tires sizes for pickups.
- Train your horse how to not be a d*ck.
- Puppy Training: Foundational obedience and basic commands in the infant stages—essentially teaching them not to shit all over the house and actually listen to you before you lose your mind.
- Anything about snakes.
- Face Paint at your kid's birthday party or any other event.
- Human Compass: You can call me with your location and I will tell you to turn North, South, East, or West to save you when you're lost—or pinpoint exactly which corner of a building I'm standing in.
- Said and performed the alphabet backwards at a Kindergarten talent show, instantly terrifying my parents. I haven't lost the skill since.
- Master Speller: Won spelling bees in school and can still spell the longest word in the dictionary on command.
- I can plan your entire wedding.
- Setting up private Nanny Services while understanding MN Laws.
Languages:
- English (Primary / Main)
- Spanish (Fluent enough but maybe one level down from fluent - what do you call that)
- Arabic (Enough to put listeners on alert)
Shit I Don't Know:
- I’ve never been able to do a cartwheel—but I can front handspring on the ground, or teach you how to backflip on a trampoline (while probably pulling something and regretting it instantly).
- Plants: I don’t know shit about them—except for the random avocado seeds I planted years ago for the hell of it that are now thriving, alongside the potted "real estate closer" plants that were gifted to me, which are now practically trees I just blindly water and have no idea what to do with.
- I still don’t know how to pronounce or say “bae.”
